Monday, November 16, 2009

"Seeing Is Believing"---"Or Is It?" Part 2

It's 9 weeks since my open heart surgery and I'm back in the saddle again. I'm not very comfortable yet but I'm working on it.
So, now I'm back at my blog to share some more amazing work by Julian Beever with you once again.

Chalk Art and Julian Beever Revisited;

Way back in August I blogged about Julian Beever, a fabulously unique and talented English artist who has become quite famous for his anamorphic art on the pavements of England, France, Germany, Belgium, Australia, and here in the US. Beever gives an amazing illusion to his drawings, so that the objects appear to be three dimensional rather than flat as they actually are.

Take a good look at some really awesome and unbelievable drawings by Julian Beever:





Hope that this proves, once again, that seeing isn't always believing!

To be continued in the future.

I'll be back!!!

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Four weeks have passed since my encounter with hell began...isn't it amazing how this happens??? How does time pass this quickly???

No matter, it is what it is, isn't it?When I left you in my previous post I had just come out of cardiac recovery and was surrounded by my loved ones feeling a certain sense of relief --this huge operation was over and I was still here with my DH and my darling "Chicks".
However, they leave and now I am alone, concious, and completely numb in body and mind.

Alone with one nurse assigned to me--a real angel of mercy--so kind, so gentle, so soft spoken, so attentive to all my needs--I am blessed!

I lay in the bed hooked up to IVs, drain pipes protruding out of my chest and neck, cathera in my bladder, legs bound in ace bandages--unable to move--Ha! where would I go anyway?

I am feeling upside down, topsy turvey, inside out, numb, and sloth-like. I lay there wrapped in my wierd feelings, wrapped in my numbness. Tubes taken out, cathera removed--some relief and more comfortable--that's nice. Vital signs taken, sips of water, body washed slowly and gently. This nurse is wonderful. I slip in and out of sleep and before I know it I am being taken to the heart medical unit--a step down and yet really a step up.

Another bed in room but it is empty for now, that's good. Vital signs taken, helped out of bed to bathroom--ah, the relief of urinating on your own--weak and a tad wobbly--legs and hands distorted by water retention--I look down at my hands and legs and wonder whoses body parts are these. Allowed to eat food--OMG, hospital food tastes okay--"topsy turvy indeed!"

Pills in morning, pills in afternoon, pills at night--I am a human pharmacy. I have also developed full blown diabetes--a common phenomena after this type of surgery--sugar level tested 4 times a day followed by shots in stomach--combined with all the blood tests taken I am a human pin cushion.

Ace bandanges unwrapped from my swollen legs and white surgical stockings, like vices, are put on each leg. So uncomfortable, but necessary for improved circulation. Life in the hospital has taken on a rhythym of it's own. Vital signs at 6:00AM, now I get up to sit in the chair next to bed. Surgical stockings put on--not an easy task! Blood sugar tested at 8:00AM, insulin shot next, then breakfast served. Watch a little TV, tired need a nap, into bed again.Nap for a hour or 2 then get up to go to the bathroom with help. Sit in chair, sugar tested, insulin shot in stomach, pills, lunch. Watch a little TV--no real focus--close TV, sit in chair numb, zombie-like, no thoughts--time seems to pass. DH here, fills me in on stuff from the "outside" world. Take a little, walk together--weak, very little energy, no stamina, back to room. Talk some more, visiting over, will return tonight. Chicks coming in evening after work.

Sugar level tested, insuling shot, pills taken, dinner is served. Visiting hours again, DH and my sons come--how wonderful to just chat about everyday things with them.
Visiting hours over--Routine is the same--that's okay I am not all here anyway.

By the 5th day after operation I am waiting to be discharged from hospital ( Sunday, Oct. 19th).

Ooops, not leaving so fast-- a small glitch--have a potassium difficiency and need to have potassium IV that delays my departure for 4 more hours--not such a terrible thing--the hospital has been a safe place for me.

Late in afternoon I am briefed on what I need to do once I am home--meds to take, sleeping situation, how to shower, surgical stockings, follow-ups for cardiologist and surgeons and lots more.

Wheelchair ordered, transporter takes me down to hospital lobby, DH goes to get car. Not allowed to sit in front seat--if we get into car accident the air bags will be quite harmful to me. Oh joy!!!

DH driving slowly--we get home--I am totally exhausted, need to sit down on couch for a bit. I am numb and sloth-like, nothing feels the same.

First night at home is about making the environment "Margo" friendly. Here are my some of the challenges I face--swollen legs and hands, shortness of breath after anything I do, talking included. Pain and discomfort in my chest, shoulders, arms, neck and head. Difficulty in getting out of chair. A strong sense of being out of place--upside down, inside out, topsy turvy, and numb. A huge mental numbness--almost like I'm not really here. "Whose life is this, anyway?"

Routines need to be set up--now, I test my blood sugar and DH gives me the insulin shots.

Can't sleep in our bed--hafta sleep alone--must sleep on my back with my head and feet elevated. A stool put in shower for me to sit on--must not face the shower spray--bad for my chest now.

Need help with shower and dressing. Not easy for a hyperative me!

I am going to end this story soon--no need to give you a blow by blow account of my every waking moment--just want to bring you up to "snuff".

Each day I am feeling a little stronger--went to cardiologist and then the surgeons for follow-ups and all is going well. In fact this is the first day that some of the those "upside-down, inside-out, topsy turvy, numb, and sloth-like" feelings are dissipating. Yes, I have been crawling sloth-like through a dark tunnel but that bright light ahead, that is my life, is almost in reach.


Monday, October 26, 2009


HELL, the online Wikipedia dicitionary says that in many religious traditions Hell is a place of suffering and punishment in the afterlife, often in the underworld. HA, HA, HA! --not so, HELL is right Here on earth. It is found whenever someone is abused whether physically, emotionally or sexually. It is found whenever someone suffers from any incurable disease whether it is Cancer, AIDS, Hepatitis, or a myriad of other conditions. It is found whenever someone is addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, and gambling.

There's still more evidence of Hell On Earth--loss of a loved one, being homeless, unrequited love, betrayal, mental and physical challanges, war... there is no getting away from it, the list of hell's existence on earth is endless!
I ask, "Haven't you experenced it in some way?"
I certainly have--and here is one of my recent encounters:
It's 8:00 AM Saturday October 10th, Columbus Day Weekend,--getting up early--have lots of stuff to do.

Dunkin Donuts for decafe coffee--hair salon--love getting my nails and hair done--great pick me up. Done, feeling refreshed, now off to Target--returns to do--done, but am hungry and a bit tired so drive across the way to Panera Bread for 1/2 sandwich and 1/2 salad special and a pumpkin spice decafe latte--so good so energizing.

Off to Best Buy to return a Cyndi Lauper CD that skips--love to stroll through the store "just looking" at stuff--feeling wierd--light headed, a little fatiqued--gotta get out of here! Fresh air, ahhh much better. Go to CVS for some other things I need. Finally get home, now I am really exhausted--did too much I guess.

Check my email--delete, respond, save for later--order in dinner. Eat, clean-up, and take a shower. Feeling really fatiqued relax in my den playing my hand held scrabble game. Feeling wierd again-- heaviness and feeling of pressure in my chest--spreading across chest, tightening in chest, shortness of breath--very uncomfortable! Call out to DH and son. Call EMS--feelings getting stronger--EMS here--2 baby aspirins to chew--bitter, taste like sand--blood pressure high--EKG off, spray nitro under my tongue, oxygen mask--strap me to special chair, carry me out to ambulance--put me on gurney. Bumpy ride to ER--arrive, surrounded by staff, taken to room in ER, moved to bed, hooked up to heart monitor, and oxygen. Blood taken, EKG, chest x-ray done.

Early Sunday morning, October 11th, Dr. Schwartz, one of my cardiologists comes to see me--results of tests all in--heart attack, damage to lower right side of heart, sheduled for catherization (angiogram) to see the whole picture. Can't have angiogram on Monday--holiday weekend, have to wait til Tuesday. Meanwhile, hooked up to heprin, and another blood thinner and stable for now--taken to CCU.

Tuesday, October 13th off to Catherization Lab to have angiogram--lab cold like ice, table for procedure hard and narrow. Strapped in, go in through groin--pictures need to be looked over by cardiologist--I wait frozen on table--3 doctors and 2 nurses come in and drop the ton of bricksthat sends me mentally and emotionally straight to HELL! One of the stents I had placed in my main artery in April is already narrrowing, one artery completely blocked, another artery blocked 75% and other blockages. Need to have open-heart bypass surgery tomorrow--can't wait--a serious situation. Overwhelmed and absolutely numb from this news I am taken to recovery where DH is waiting-- he is told the news--another ton of bricks drops on me that once again sends me to HELL just from the look on his face! Scared, frightened, fear takes over for a while before intellect "kicks" in. Words of love, support, reassurance spoken and I can hardly hear due to the numb state I am in. Cardiac Surgery team comes to talk--explain step by step procedure for prep and surgery, sending me deeper and deeper into hell.

My sons ( age 29 and 24) come to visit in evening and I find that now the silent tears are finally beginning to flow--yes, I am a mother and my "chicks" are what I think about above anything else. I am still numb--again, words of love, support, and assurance being spoken. Hugs, kisses, long loving glances and then it is me alone--numb and disconnected!
Miraculously, I am able to sleep a little--thanks to the drugs I have been given.
Wednesday morning, 8:ooAM, October 14th. DH sitting by my bed--gurney is brought in for transporting me to cardiac surgery unit. Anesthesiologist with his team talks with us, head of cardiac team speaks to us and it is time for me to go--more hugs, kisses, hangs squeezed, and off I go into the depths of hell.

Five hours later--eyes opening-- DH and my "chicks" looking at me with big smiles of relief on their faces. I am hooked up to a ventilator, pipes protruding everywhere from me. Then after a bit ventilator cut off--throat raw and hurting but I am able to breath on my own.

I am still numb and am shocked to hear that I had to have a 5 bypass surgery. New arteries for bypasses taken from both inner knees and inner thighs.

This recent encounter with hell ends for now--I am at the dark end of the tunnel moving like a sloth to the light on the other end of the tunnel--the light that is the rest of my life!

To be continued...


Friday, October 2, 2009


Remember my post about me being the leader of the pack (7/29)? Well, I am proud to announce that my pack, the "Ajdjss Guild" is having a Fundraiser Event to support"Breast Cancer Research and Domestic Violence Intervention" for the entire month of October. All participating guild studios will be either donating a % of their sales for the month or they will be giving a cash donation. In fact, all of the studios of Artfire have been invited to join us in this important fundraiser.

My plan is to donate $1 for each item that I sell for this month, as well as, offering FREE SHIPPING to anywhere in the U.S. for the entire month.

Come visit my studio ~ and check out my special section for pink and purple items--pink for Breast Cancer Awareness and purple for Domestic Violence Awareness.

Not interested in purchasing anything but want to donate? Well, we have a special "Donate" button on our Ajdjss Event Blog for this option.

Please visit our Ajdjss Event Blog to view a wonderful slideshow of some of the lovely items for sale for this event. You will also find a list with a direct link to every participating studio of our guild. You will definitely be amazed at all the fabulous items for sale.
Now, ya gotta buy a lot of stuff because you too will be supporting these 2 important and worthy causes!


Thanks so much.

Monday, September 28, 2009


I am in a very silly mood and I sure hope that it is contagious!

I hope you feel a little silly now too!

Dedicated to all you cat lovers out there...