FRUSTRATION, FRUSTRATION, FRUSTRATION

What is it? The on-line dictionary says it's a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

Sounds familiar? It sure does because you are alive and that means you definitely have had lots of experience with it. So you already know that frustration sucks big time! It sure does.

What kind of things frustrate you? Can it be a relationship with a friend, family member, "significant other", boss, teacher, or coach?--I guess the list is really endless. Or someone didn't keep a promise, or wouldn't listen to you, or couldn't understand you, or is always late, or lying to you, or is unreliable? Again the list is endless. Can't complete a task because there's just not enough time, or firgure out the directions to put together a new item that you bought? Can't seem to figure out what's wrong with your car, or dish washer? Can't get a straight answer from your doctor?

All these things and more cause us to feel frustration which will often lead to depression and anxiety, two other feelings that also suck big time.
Do we have to feel this way? Believe it or not, you don't have to feel this way. Ah, you think I'm crazy to say this (well, I am a bit but not about this subject).
Quite often it is our reactions to these things that cause us the frustration and you can learn to react differently. Yes, you really can. Each of us has within ourselves
the ability to deal with just about any situation in a more mature and positive way. Oh yes, this is true.

Of course there are times when we will not be able to deal with a situation but, you can learn to deal with frustrating feelings a lot of the time.

Here's some very basic things that you can do to help you deal with your frustrating feelings:
1. Talk to someone you trust and vent it all out. You have to do something with all those negative feelings. This can help you get rid of them so that you don't over react to something that is not as important. If a supportive person is not around then writing in a journal about your negative feelings can really help to get them out of you.
2. Exercising--go for a walk, ride a bike, do some stretching, get moving--your bodies endomorphins will start flowing and calm you down.
3. Scream in a pillow or in the shower, or punch the pillow---great ways to get rid of that negative energy.
4. Try to gain some of your control back--many times our frustration develops from not being able to control a situation--well, you need to do some "self-talk" and accept the situation for what it is. You can try to collaborate with someone who can help you get what it is that you need. If you can focus on what you can control, and not on what you can't it will often help relieve strong feelings of frustration.
5. Think about your options once you calm yourself down. Brainstorm some ways that you can think of that you can do to resolve the situation. Sometimes you can do this with someone else, sometimes you can just make a list of these options.
The more options that you can think of for dealing with a negative situation, the less frustrated you will feel. Once you feel that you have a complete list, then try to evaluate all of the choices and choose the best ones.

Hey, this really works--but, the key is you have to practice this for it to work. There are going to be many times in your life when you are going to feel frustration. There's no way to get around this. But listen, you really can learn to use your frustration to come up with another plan that will help you to feel better.

You are really capable of doing this. It takes practice like anything else that's worth learning in life.

Dedicated to Susan B., a very special person and friend.

Enough said--ttyl :o)